2nd TRIMESTER

I tried to ignore the thumping, but one can only take so much. I used to hate hail, but these pickles were much worse. At least hail melts. Pickles just lay about, staring at you, slowly shriveling and smelling of vinegar. Regardless, Sylvester Stallone never had it so good, the pregnant bastard.

SOUP DU JOUR

Clam Chowder was his favorite soup, but I liked split Pea, so he had to die. I took the carburetor out of his engine, at least I think that’s what it was, the thingy with the two wires coming out of it and the holey thing on the end? Well I took that out, and tried to affix it to his toaster so he’d be electrocuted. But it didn’t work, I guess because you have to have some source of power running to it and maybe because carburetors can’t electrocute people. Still, the fact that he likes clam chowder is pretty annoying.